Need some smiles, jackass?

You're welcome.

Why is "Love Me" pointing to his pants?.....

Ok, I haven't listened to any of this kid's songs, but I know that he is the prodigy of Usher, and is making pre-teen girls trample their mothers and small animals to get to his mall tours. I just don't get it. When I had my first celebrity crush, it was on the Backstreet Boys. (although watching David Duchovney in X-Files when I was 11 always made me feel funny....)I loved them because they sang of love and sparkles, and gyrated on the stage in cool mesh tank tops. And all of my other friends liked similar stuff too, like N*Sync and 98 Degrees. At least there was some masculinity and a whiff of sex there! Justin here literally looks like a flat tipped hat rocking fifth grader who's going to race you to the swings. Kids these days. Actually, hold up a second. I do remember one crush that didn't really make sense:




Are those for ME? The JTT-ster. I LOVED HIM! I made scrapbooks and watched Home Improvement and memorized his lines from "The Lion King". Ok, carry on kids. Justin is NO Jonathan Taylor Thomas (especially on the hair front), but I sort of get where you're coming from. I wonder what JTT is up to nowadays. I would love if he had a secret fall from fame and is now some bum in Alphabet City who mumbles "I just can't WAIT to be KING!!" outside of a Bodega and smells like eggs. That would be funny.

Oops....

Sorry ya'll, but I've actually been so busy with boring things like "life" and "maintaining relationships" that I haven't had much time to hate on anything lately! But don't worry, I feel a wave of love/hate coming on, so the posts should be back on track.

A little bit of a delayed reaction but....

What in the F were the Vancouver Closing Ceremonies?!

The Olympics saved the best for last this cycle, with the USA v. Canada Gold Medal Hockey game being the last event in Vancouver. Me and my Canadian cousins and their very polite Canadian friends watched it at the restaurant I work at, and it was a lot of fun. The game was AWESOME, going into OT in the last few seconds of the 3rd. Alas, the US lost, but those darn Canadians were so happy and NICE that I just couldn't be mad at them.

I'll give you an example of their maple leaf sweetness. There was this tool bag sitting next to us that, in typical US fashion, was smack talking our beloved Canucks the whole game. When Crosby scored the game winning goal his table got up to leave, and as they passed us he said "Yeah, well we have WAAAAY more gold medals than you guys!". We Americans are nothing if not scathing with our insults. Yeah buddy, the Canadians really care about the medal count when they just won THE SPORT THAT THEY INVENTED AND PERFECTED. Anyways... One of my cousin's friends throws his shoulders back and follows the guy into the crowd. I'm thinking "Fight! Yes!" (as "I'm proud to be an American" was playing. It would have been perfect).

Her friend comes back with a very pleased expression on his face. I'm thinking he told him off real good so we all ask "What happened?" He smiles and says "I walked right up to him, and I told him, I said right to his face what a BAD SPORT he was being!"

Did you just tilt your head to the side and make the "that's so sweet!" face? Yeah, I did too.

Bit of a digression, but we stayed and drank and had fun for the night, so maybe that's why I didn't immediately remember the beaver and leaf laden MESS that was the closing ceremonies.



Lets play a game called spot the stereotypes!
1. Giant beavers!
2. Lumberjacks!
3. Mounties!
4. Moose! (I wanted to put Meese. We need to make that plural)
5. Hockey players!
6. Dancing Maple Leafs!
7. Michael Buble singing "Maple Leaf Forever!"

I'm surprised they didn't have a giant Canadian Bacon slab skating around. This is what it would have looked like if you went into the Canadian "Its a Small World After All" ride on LSD.

I hate AWKWARDNESS.

I was typing up a letter for my boss this morning, when he dictated that I should get the address of the person in the letter from one of our employees. I ask Employee X to send me the person's address in an inter-office note. Employee X, being a helpful middle-aged man, comes over to the computer and says he'll just tell me as I type. It starts off unassuming :"231..."

and then goes horribly wrong....

"Semen road."

I'm all kinds of inappropriate, but I tried to stifle my giggle. So I type what I hear:

"Seamen road."

Nice save, me! I'm an adult that can type dirty sounding things without laughing! High five!

"Nope, that's not it."

I stare up at fatherly looking employee X and give him the same look I gave my Mother and Father when they gave me the sex talk on a 4 hour drive from Boston to NYC.

and I type:

"Semen road."

Employee X shakes his head and says "No, not SeamEn road, SeamAn road."

I type the rest of the address and thank employee x profusely, pulling up my TASTEFUL v-neck shirt and doing a Hail Mary. He walks away, and gives a side ways look that can only say:

"Tramp."

Happy Tuesday!!!! :)