I hate when people say "Huzzah!" I don't specifically know why, but when someone's like "Just bought the new Muse CD and am crocheting a new scarf for my cat, HUZZAH!", I sort of have the itch to smack a ho.
Monday, July 12, 2010
I hate...
I hate when people say "Huzzah!" I don't specifically know why, but when someone's like "Just bought the new Muse CD and am crocheting a new scarf for my cat, HUZZAH!", I sort of have the itch to smack a ho.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I got this picture by googling "Jerks with Bluetooths"
I HATE BLUE TOOTHS (plural, blue teeth?) Why hasn't everyone who isn't in a car driving gotten the memo that wearing one gives you instant douche status? Pair it with a middle aged woman in a mall wearing a Juicy sweat-suit and you have the super-douche. Pair it with a middle aged man in a mall with an Adidas sweat suit and you have a wanna-be music producer.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Oh hay Megabus!
Comin' acha from the Megabus y'all! I'm on my way to my girl Lauren's wedding In D.C. As soon as I get off this double decker I'm heading to her bachelorette party, which is top secret, but I'll tell you it might involve me getting injured, since I'm on four hours of sleep (gotta love those closing waitressing shifts!)
Annnyways, the bus inspired my next hate. So I'm in one of this ultra pleasant bus naps, where you're half awake and always come to with a cricked neck or awkwardly groping your seat mate (no? Just me?) and I wake up to chirping! Sadly, there wasn't a blue jay on my shoulder who was offering me a Vicodin so I could enjoy some REAL sleep, but a lady friend on one of those walkie talkie f'in push to talk phones. Like, really? Who uses those anymore, besides construction workers and pre-teens whose parents bought them the cheapest phones possible? Thanks lady, I love the incessant beeps PLUS hearing every detail of your conversation about how much rice you cooked for your date last night (truth!) If I had one of those phones I would at least have fun with it. Like have phone sex in public and say "OVER!" at the end of each sentence.
"what are you wearing? Over!"
"The maid outfit? You copy? OVER!"
"Copy! That's so hot! Can we cook massive amounts of rice now? That would make me crazy babe! OVER!!"
Annnyways, the bus inspired my next hate. So I'm in one of this ultra pleasant bus naps, where you're half awake and always come to with a cricked neck or awkwardly groping your seat mate (no? Just me?) and I wake up to chirping! Sadly, there wasn't a blue jay on my shoulder who was offering me a Vicodin so I could enjoy some REAL sleep, but a lady friend on one of those walkie talkie f'in push to talk phones. Like, really? Who uses those anymore, besides construction workers and pre-teens whose parents bought them the cheapest phones possible? Thanks lady, I love the incessant beeps PLUS hearing every detail of your conversation about how much rice you cooked for your date last night (truth!) If I had one of those phones I would at least have fun with it. Like have phone sex in public and say "OVER!" at the end of each sentence.
"what are you wearing? Over!"
"The maid outfit? You copy? OVER!"
"Copy! That's so hot! Can we cook massive amounts of rice now? That would make me crazy babe! OVER!!"
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Jury is in.....
I've decided, ya'll. After Sunday nights Tony Awards, I finally made my mind up about Lea Michele. And I don't like her.
Maybe it was the whole stupid segment of her and Matthew Morrison performing for NO reason at the Tony awards, her desperately and too literally trying to evoke Barbara Streisand circa 1965 with her hair and dress, or just that she does this stupid furrowing thing with her eyebrows when she belts, I don't know. As soon as "paaaaaRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!" came out of her mouth, I put my chinese food down and said "And.... no." With a little Donald Trump hand movement to match.
You guys can watch it for yourself on youtube. I know Matthew Morrison was a Tony nominee himself, but doesn't he look like he's trying waaaaaay too hard? The dance doesn't even look fun or graceful, it looks like he's thinking "I'M THE MAN! YEAH! TAKE THAT NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! WATCH MY DELIBERATE ARM MOVEMENTS! SUCK IT!". And then she comes in the audience and starts singing to Jay-Z (check out Beyonce's face when she does this, its like she smile-talking "girl, what are you doing?")And when she says "HEY TONY AWARDS!!".... ugh.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I always thought Andrew Jackson was the hottest President on a bill....
Last week I saw the amazing cast of "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson" at the Public Theatre, and I've been annoying my friends ever since with how much I LOVED IT. It's the story of Andrew Jackson's childhood and rise to presidency, which in itself sounds AWESOME (not really). However, it's done like a pop-emo-rock opera, and it is fantastic and funny as hell. Don't believe me and my high-brow taste in art? (Britney Spears, animals talking,the UPN smash hit Girlfriends?) Read the NYT review then, asshole. Great new musical score, amazing cast and a great band to back it up. Go see it! Weekday tix are usually around $50, and can be purchased on the Public Theatre's website.
And if all that doesn't make you want to go see it, go for Benjamin Walker, who plays Andrew Jackson.
Sweet Mother of Pearl, he is hot. And very talented. And about to marry Meryl Streep's daughter. Womp womp.
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